Nil Points – How Do You Bounce Back from Defeat?

Anyone who is reading this will know how much I love Eurovision. It is a truly happy and inclusive event that truly celebrates diversity.  Nothing exemplifies the adage of ‘it’s not the winning but taking part’ like this glorious event.

That said, our hearts go out to James Newman who sang his heart out with his song Embers and not only ended up with nil points from the European juries but also from the public vote. It was crushing to say the least, especially as it was a terrific song. If it could have been surpassed, then only Amanda Holden giving the out the votes for the UK, proclaiming her ignorance to other languages did that. It is fair to say that social networks lit up!

Watching defeat like this got me thinking. Every day in our ordinary lives we face different types of defeat, be it in competition and sport, in sales against competitors and in our personal lives when circumstances overwhelm and beat us.  When James Newman received his final nil points verdict, he was very gracious. He stood up smiling from ear to ear and took a bow.  He must have felt all of the love in the arena pour out for him.

Similarly there are times when we must be gracious, all is fair in love and war as they say (well not Eurovision, everyone hates us but hey I digress) and we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves down and as my friend Rick Denley says in his sensational book Reinvent Yourself, “find your GRIT, the ability to withstand, use and understand pain”. We all have to experience loss, defeat and pain, if anything it can make us stronger and fuel an incredible return. James Newman has a very successful music writing career and like the words of his song ‘down here in the ashes there’s something growing’ he can rebuild from what he already had and has never lost.

We all need to look into ourselves and find the one thing that is still good and unaffected.  There will be something, however small, and this will be your starting point to bounce back, your own ember. It may take time to rekindle too. Don’t let that concern you, that resilience and perseverance will make you return even stronger and burn even brighter. Better to take your time and get it right, than to rush and be right back at the start.

Ask yourself this question when you are facing defeat, “What can I do today to learn from this and take the first step to rekindle my fire and move forward?”

Here’s to the next Eurovision Song Contest, now I need to listed to Italy’s winning song again.

Thanks for reading, this blog forms part of the SerialTrainer7 personal development program and if we can support you in some way with 1-2-1 coaching or training then get in touch with me Simon@serialtrainer7.com.

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