Personal Confidence Mini Series Part 2. Assuredness
“Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Eleanor Roosevelt
Welcome to the second of four blogs covering personal confidence, the first blog covering Assertiveness is already up so if you have not yet read it, do check it out. In this blog we will look at confidence in terms of feeling assured.
What is Assuredness?
Attitude to some might be everything, however I have never really liked that word, it conjurs up all sorts of negative references in my mind. Instead I prefer the word assured and being self-assured. To me it is based in trust and of course confidence. Lots of words that can mean assuredness include being bold, having a guarantee, creates trust and outright conviction to name a few. When we look at how being assured contributes for confidence we can see that it is about really being solid in your approach, absolutely steadfast in your opinions. By having this sense of being self assured, when we interact with others in situations where we may not feel confident, it can result in it transferring across to others so that they also feel assured in what we have told them.
It is like a confidence germ and it is very contagious.
Just how contagious? Well if you come across this way, the result is that people believe you, they trust you and even if you do not come across as the most outwardly confident person, then you will come across as quietly confident. Isn’t there a saying about always watching the ‘quiet ones’?
Quietly Confident Behaviour and Trust
Ask yourself how many people do you know that demonstrate quiet confidence? What is it about them that you like? When we look at these wonderful people, we do not see big behaviours and lots of talking, actually it can be the opposite. We see considered behaviour, we see non-judgmental behaviour, we see people who think and observe before jumping to a conclusion. They choose their words carefully and tend to let others speak first, not in a passive way, just in a way that allows them to get everyone’s perspective. Once they have this, they can determine the correct choice of words to use, (if you have read the previous blog covering assertiveness, you will remember how powerful choice can be) and then they confidently and assuredly deliver their point.
Here’s the magical bit. Trust is created. Their words land, people listen, people understand and in the long term people will talk about and advocate this behaviour very favourably. Do it consistently and the trusted ‘quietly confident’ person is sought out, valued and their thoughts contributing to big changes and improvements.
When we think about being more confident, assuredness can help. It doesn’t mean being a know it all, it just means that you can be absolutely sure that what you are saying is meaningful and will leave people wanting to hear more. Why do they want more? Because they trust you, and knowing you are trusted builds confidence. In our next blog we will be looking at how we can become more authoritative and using authority to influence and become confident.
Thanks for reading and if you or your team need help with building confidence then get in touch with me Simon@serialtrainer7.com.