October 21st 2015- Back to the Future Day- How many of us watched that film for the first time all those years ago and thought “2015, that is such a long way off”? Yet here we are and time has flown by. Still no flying cars though….
When you look back on your life, how many times would like to turn back time and go back and change something either about yourself or something that would in turn affect the outcome of something else in later years? We often hear people talking about living in the ‘good old days’, being all nostalgic, some people live with regret too, unable to move on from a painful or difficult time. Helen Mirren has openly said that if she could offer a piece of advice to her younger self it would be to say “f*** off more often” well OK, no judgement here Helen, each to their own.
By contrast do you live in a different space? Where you look forward to the future, and hope for something better, or plan for an event or outcome in a way that is deliberate and controlled, or do you simply cross your fingers and hope for the best?
Whether you choose to look back or forward makes no difference, as one thing is for sure, time marches on whether you do something or not. As the old saying goes. “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, which is why it is called the present”. It is the present we need to focus on, the here and now, this moment, one moment out of time. Mindfulness teaches us to take the time out to remove worry based wandering thoughts, analytical thoughts, excited thoughts and ego from our thinking so that we may encompass and savour the very moment we live in. To fully appreciate the moment and to realise that we are OK; all is OK. Powerful for those who suffer from stress that based in the past or depression as it is otherwise known; or for those who suffer from stress based in the future; Anxiety of course.
Reflecting on when I started my own journey into Mindfulness, the tutor gave each of a raisin. Nothing spectacular in that you might think. He told us to take a moment to appreciate the simplicity of it and yet, its complexities. We were asked to look at it, really observe. Then feel it, all over, ever part of it. We were asked to take in the fruity aroma, quite Christmassy to me! Next we had to place the raisin in our mouths, not to chew, just to feel it and start to appreciate the texture and flavour. Finally, to slowly and deliberately chew it, and savour it. Quite something I can tell you to really appreciate that little raisin. How many times do we get the chance to experience something truly special like an event, an evening out, a holiday or even a meal with a loved one, only to spend the time thinking about what is coming up, the next thing, and then start to worry or anticipate it without even appreciating what is happening right now. It is these times that are special and should be taken in; and not, as is often the case reflected on as something we wished we could have appreciated more.
When you go away on holiday next, observe how many people start taken photographs and selfies without really looking, especially around points of interest. Are they really living in that moment or are they just capturing their shallow experience? Of course this they will then look at again once or twice when they return home, but of course they won’t really remember it, because they were just there, but not really in the moment. Living their lives through a lens, or through an app, or a selfie.
In order for us to avoid travelling back to the past, or forward to the future, we need to grasp the importance of now. Appreciate all that is good right now. Stop worrying about what may be, and avoid dwelling on anything close to regret. Make your choices in the moment, one day we might have flying cars and maybe even be able to travel back to the future, but for now, this is the best we have, and it is happening right now.
As a final thought and perhaps a starting point, we all have the chance to turn back time this coming weekend when the clocks go back for daylight savings. We say “ooh lovely and extra hour in bed” I know I have. Really though, what will you do that will be worthwhile and meaningful. Something just for you, with your extra hour of time. It is your time, your adventure! and here’s the thing, where you’re going, you don’t need roads.
This blog forms part of One to One Coaching, Stress Management Training and Mindfulness Training. If you would like to benefit from this type of personal development, drop me an email in complete confidence simon@serialtrainr7.com or call 07979 537824 for more information.